Blog
June 15 Derby Double Date
Posted: 05/15/2013 by PVRD

Your Western Mass Destruction and Quabbin Missile Crisis are going on a DERBY DOUBLE DATE with the Hartford Wailers and Beat City Bedrockers of Hartford Area Roller Derby! We've been secretly crushing on them for some time. Their founder, Diesel N' Gin, used to skate with PVRD back in the day, so we are just that much more excited to hit the track with these folks!
First up, support our fierce 'n' feisty WMDs as they face off against the Hartford Wailers. Next, cheer on Quabbin Missile Crisis in their SEASON DEBUT as they take on HARD's Beat City Bedrockers! It'll be the premiere bout for several of our skaters. Fun fact: our own Lady Hit N Stitch got started in roller derby thanks to Monkey Brains of the Wailers. Can't you just feel the love?
We'll be returning to Easthampton to play at the Williston Northampton School's Athletic Center (80 Park Street).
Doors open at 5pm and first whistle for Western Mass Destruction vs. Wailers is at 6pm.
$8 advance tickets are available at Turn It Up! in Northampton and online via Brown Paper Tickets. Door admission is $10 for adults, $5 for children under 12 with a paying adult, and free for children under 6 with a paying adult.
This is one doubleheader you simply don't want to miss!
May 11 Doubleheader at the Lossone Rink
Posted: 04/22/2013 by PVRD

On Saturday, May 11, come see our Western Mass Destruction take on the Rock Coast Rollers from Maine and the Dirty Dozen take on the Connecticut Death Quads at the Williston Northampton School's Lossone Rink, 22 Greenwood Court, Easthampton.
$8 advance tickets are available at Turn It Up! in Northampton or online through Brown Paper Tickets. Tickets at the door are $10.
Door admission for kids 12 and under is $5 with a paying adult, and free for kids 6 and under with a paying adult.
Doors at 5, game at 6.
The event is listed on Facebook. Invite yourself and your friends!
April 2013 Roller Derby Boot Camp
Posted: 04/08/2013 by PVRD

You've seen derby in action—now it's time to join the fun! Pioneer Valley Roller Derby will be hosting a two-day Boot Camp April 20th and 21st for folks 18+ at our facility in Florence, MA. The boot camp runs from 12pm to 4pm on both days, and will be hosted by some of your favorite PVRD skaters and coaches. The boot camp is a little bit different from our usual open recruiting Fresh Meat Nights: at the end of Boot Camp, people who would like to continue to skate with PVRD can take a level test, and those who pass will be invited to join PVRD as active members and begin contact (hitting/blocking) training. Skaters who do not pass are encouraged to continue to work on skills on their own, and come back to PVRD at our open recruiting Fresh Meat Nights in September and November.
The cost for the boot camp is $20. Loaner skates and rental gear will be available. Come get a taste of glory and see what derby is all about!
The skills taught/reviewed during Boot Camp, and the skills tested on Sunday, will include:
- Falling and getting back up safely without the use of hands on the floor, in these ways: 4-point fall, single knee, double knee, and 180-degree knee turn
- Crossing over to the left
- Dragging toe stops
- T-stops
- One-foot glides on each leg for the length of the straightaway
- Self-propelling on all 8 wheels (scissors & slaloms)
- One-foot toe starts
- Turning from frontwards to backwards while continuing forward motion
- Squatting through a straightaway and turn
- Stepping from a standstill without losing balance, in these ways: forward, backward, and side to side
- Weaving through 10 cones placed 6 feet apart on both a straightaway and turn
Register today by emailing info@pioneervalleyrollerderby.com!
2013 Season Opener
Posted: 02/06/2013 by PVRD
Join PVRD for our 2013 season opener on Sunday, April 7th at the Mullins Center at UMass Amherst! This doubleheader of epic proportions will feature both men's and women's flat track derby. Your own Western Mass Destruction will be taking on the Mass Attack Roller Derby All-Stars, and your Dirty Dozen will be taking on the Mean Mountain Boys of Vermont Men's Roller Derby. Whether you're a derby connoisseur or a novice to the sport, the energy in this 10,000-seat arena will be electrifying! Doors open at 2:30pm and the game starts at 3pm. Support your local roller derby league and help us start off the season with a bang!
Tickets are $10 general admission and $8 for students, and can be purchased online through Brown Paper Tickets. General admission and student tickets can also be purchased in person from Turn It Up! in Northampton, Food for Thought Books in Amherst, and at the Mullins Center box office. UMass students can use their UCards to purchase advance-only tickets at the Mullins Center box office.
Door admission for kids 12 and under is $5 with a paying adult, and free for kids 6 and under with a paying adult.
The event is listed on the Mullins Center website and on Facebook.
It's Our Birthday!
Posted: 01/07/2013 by PVRD

It's our birthday!
That's right—your favorite roller derby league has been around for SEVEN years now, and while that isn't old enough to drink, that IS old enough to skate! We'll be celebrating our birthday by skating the night away at the Interskate 91 in Hadley, and we want YOU to celebrate with US!
Join us on Saturday, February 2nd, at Interskate 91 at the Hampshire Mall, from 6:30 - 10:30 pm.
This event is open to the public, and if you don't have your own wheels, that's okay—Interskate 91 has rentals.
And if that wasn't enough for you, the Wednesday after that (Feb 6th) is our LAST recruiting night before we kick into gear for our 2013 season. We're always looking for potential referees, non-skating officials (NSOs) and any men and women who want to skate with Pioneer Valley's premier roller derby establishment!
We don't care if you've never strapped on a pair of skates in your life, or if you've been skating since you were born; if you dream of hitting people across the room or sending them to the penalty box—we have a place for YOU.
Advance ticket sales are closed. Tickets will be available at the door, but a portion of all advance ticket sales supports PVRD and Project Coach. Plus, even with the convenience fee, buying tickets online is still less expensive than buying them at the door. What do you have to lose?
Come out, skate with the derby players, ask us questions and find out how to become a part of our awesome roller derby family!
February 2013 Fresh Meat Night
Posted: 01/06/2013 by PVRD
Fresh Meat Night: February 6, 2013 @ 7:30pm
Pioneer Valley Roller Derby is looking for women and men (18+) to join our ranks!
Come try on some skates, meet the folks of PVRD, and find out how you can become a player, referee, non-skating official (NSO), announcer, and/or volunteer.
Fresh Meat Night /'fresh 'mēt 'nīt/
event
- an opportunity for people (never-before and any-experience skaters) to:
- strap on some skates and gear (loaners are available)
- get some (non-contact!) skating time and practice foundational skills
- find out what derby is
- meet some awesome people
- learn what it takes to become a derby player/ref/NSO/etc.
- the beginning of an amazing 8-wheeled (or not) journey into the world of roller derby
Email us at info@pioneervalleyrollerderby.com for more details, to RSVP, and to get directions. (Psst—come early to find gear in your size!)
Visit our website at pioneervalleyrollerderby.com.
"Like" us on Facebook and get the latest on PVRD bouts and happenings, or follow @PVRD on Twitter!
Stars and Skulls Crafty Craft Fair
Posted: 12/15/2012 by PVRD

It's coming!
On Saturday, December 15th, join us for the 8th (!!) annual Stars and Skulls Crafty Craft Fair! Organized by PVRD's co-founders, Pink Panzer and Bazooka Joe, Stars & Skulls is the Valley's original DIY alternative craft fair.
The fair will feature dozens of vendors selling locally made jewelery, clothing, toys, tasty treats, housewares, comics, and much more! If you're looking for unique and affordable holiday gifts, look no further.
And if that's not enough for you, PVRD will also have a table where we'll be hawking merch and other goodies, and we'll be around to answer any questions you might have. Curious about PVRD? Want to become a member or just profess your undying love for us? Talk to us at the Crafty Craft Fair!
The fair is from 1pm to 7pm at the World War II Club at 50 Conz Street in Northampton.
As always, admission and parking are free.
2012 Hot Chocolate Run
Posted: 12/02/2012 by PVRD
On Sunday, December 2nd, keep your eyes open for Pioneer Valley Roller Derby at the Hot Chocolate Run in downtown Northampton. Members of Pioneer Valley Roller Derby will be running and volunteering to support this great event.
The Hot Chocolate Run benefits Safe Passage and works towards ending domestic violence in Hampshire County.
Walkers head out at 9:30am and runners take off at 10am, rain, snow, or shine, from behind the Northampton Brewery.
Participant registration is sold out! But you can still donate or volunteer! (And look! Isn't that our own Pink Panzer #88 on the volunteer page?)
For more information, be sure to check out the event website. We can't wait to see YOU there!
Monte's March III
Posted: 11/15/2012 by PVRD

Come join the men and women of Pioneer Valley Roller Derby as we skate with Monte Belmonte for the first leg of his journey from Northampton to Greenfield! On Thursday, November 15, Monte is pushing a shopping cart 26 miles in order to raise money and awareness for the Food Bank of Western MA. We will be leaving with him from Northampton at 6 AM.
Swing on by and cheer on Monte and your favorite PVRD skaters for a great cause!
Read more about Monte and Monte's March III at WRSI 93.9 The River.
2012 Derby Accolades
Posted: 11/12/2012 by Slam Dinista
The 2012 Derby Accolades, selected the month before by popular vote, were presented during PVRD's league meeting on September 24, 2012. Winners received various trophies and medals (all spray painted gold by yours truly). Congratulations to the winners in all of this year's 62 categories!
2012 Derby Accolades
1. Worst smelling pads: Will Jettison
2. Most distracting ass on the track: Von Wolfe
3. Hottest helmet hair: Quinn
4. Loudest whistle: Lethe L. Ejection
5. Best sock accessories: Gnome Ercy
6. Most likely to have to buy the refs drinks after: Mars Travolta
7. Best hip check: Pink Panzer
8. Most likely to land you in the stands: Mongo
9. Best box etiquette: Elizabeth
10. Most vocally commanding on track: Mars Travolta
11. Most likely to take down Mr. Rogers: Maul T. Racial
12. Best helmet bedazzler: Love Tank
13. Most likely to have a perfect one-liner: (16-way tie) Celia Casket, Gnome Ercy, Kataklysmik, Margot, Bats Hit Crazy, Jurasskick, Cali Burr, Mars Travolta, Slam Dinista, Davy Jones, Lady Hulk, Grizzly Adam, Criminal Wrecker, Broke White Boy, Maul T. Racial, Macrum
14. Most rulebook savvy: Lethe L. Ejection
15. Best off-track spirit: Rammy Lammy
16. Best go-go Gadget ass (as defined by the body part apparently leaving the body in order to accomplish certain hits): Jurasskick Park
17. Most likely to wear multiple stopwatches: MacGyver
18. Best track stacker: Molly Musket
19. Best on-track android, off-track human: Macrum
20. Most cloaked (Klingon vessel-like) jammer: Kataklysmik
21. Best prehensile toes: Jurasskick Park
22. Most likely to be named team photographer: Fannie Leibo-Hitz
23. Loudest from the bench: Davy Jones
24. Best on-track cheetah: Cali Burr
25. Most likely to sneak a flask into the locker room: Discipline & Punisher
26. Best derby promoter: Jack A. Lope
27. Most likely to be a stand in for the Matrix: Jurasskick Park
28. Most likely to be a stand in for Sesame Street: Chewbecca
29. Most strategic player: Erich Bennar
30. Best double threat: Erich Bennar
31. Lightest on his or her feet: Von Wolfe
32. Most puzzling player: Grizzly Adam
33. Sweetest player: Andre Morson
34. Sweatiest player: Mars Travolta
35. Suspiciously least-sweaty player: Ketchum (Note: No one, we're all wonderfully disgusting)
36. Best thug and/or gangsta': Broke White Boy
37. Most tenacious stripe: Taya
38. Best derby couple (write in two): (tie) Lethe/Gnome, Celia/Mars
39. Best derby wives/husbands (write in two): Molly/Grizzly
40. Most likely to get corporate sponsorship: Jurasskick Park
41. Best whipper/ whippee (write in two): (tie) Legend of the Hit 'n Trample/Cali Burr, Legend/Kataklysmik
42. Fastest track disassembler: Jurasskick Park
43. Most likely to invent an amazing derby drill: Chickadee Struction
44. Best tattoo: Chickadee Struction
45. Most likely to have a switchblade on his/her person: Broke White Boy
46. Most intense look (on the track): Celia Casket
47. Most intense look (off the track): Bazooka Joe
48. Most likely to still be skating at 90: Ketchum
49. Most likely to have skated in the '80s: Ketchum
50. Most likely to start a revolution: Dennis the Red Menace
51. Most likely to start a Dance Dance Revolution: Von Wolfe
52. Most likely to request "Drop it like it's Hot" for his or her funeral: Margot Tenenbomb
53. Best derby Mom: Molly Musket
54. Best derby Dad: Irwin
55. Best jammer line dancer: Mars Travolta
56. Most likely to hit you first and ask questions later: (tie) Mars Travolta, Legend of the Hit 'n Trample
57. Most intense on-track rivalry (add as many as needed): Mars/Celia
58. Rookie of the year: Poi Boy Slamwich
59. Most improved: Kataklysmik
60. Heaviest hitter: Mongo
61. Most effective jammer: Kataklysmik
62. Best overall player (any team): Jurasskick Park
Write-ins: Margot Tenenbomb for hottest and Andre and Nina for best Canadians.





